Separation anxiety myths vs. reality

Our dog Petey panicked when we went out.

This is typical of what we would find when we got home.

Although separation anxiety is the most-researched canine behavior disorder, there is no consensus as to its cause.

A very common question I get is:

Whenever we go out and leave our dog alone she has accidents, barks nonstop, and tears up the furniture. I think she’s doing it to spite us. What’s going on?

I understand how frustrating that can be! (see above)

Canine behavioral research has shown that these types of behaviors may be due to a panic disorder that is variously called separation anxiety, separation distress, or isolation distress. I’ll refer to it here as separation anxiety.

Dogs with separation anxiety are not being disobedient or spiteful when their people leave. When left alone, they’re experiencing the canine equivalent of a human panic attack and engage in stress behaviors such as the ones you have seen.

Researchers estimate up to 20% of dogs suffer from separation anxiety. Although separation anxiety is the most-studied canine behavioral disorder, there is no known cause, and dogs of any age can develop it. Let’s tackle those myths now.

Myth: Your dog is acting spiteful.

Reality: it’s likely only we humans engage in spiteful behavior.

We have no idea whether our dogs feel spiteful, which is a word that humans have created for behavior that is designed to deliberately feel hurtful to another. Personally, I think humans are the only animals who engage in spiteful behavior.

While we can’t get into the mindset of our dogs the way we can of a human, we can extrapolate from their behavior that they’re panicking when left alone. How? The simplest gauge is that they don’t engage in these behaviors when their people are home.

Myth: The Internet says I’ve spoiled my dog and that’s why I can’t leave her alone.

Reality: The notion of “spoiling” your dog isn’t supported by research.

While we don’t know what causes separation anxiety, researchers do know that there is no correlation between acting lovingly toward your dog, letting them on the furniture and so on, and their developing separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is a panic issue, a genuine phobia, which means dogs with this condition are truly terrified when home alone. If you know anyone who’s afraid of flying, spiders, or public speaking, you recognize how real that fear feels to them and how debilitating it can be. Dogs struggling with separation anxiety are having a hard time, not giving you a hard time.

Myth: Separation Anxiety isn’t treatable.

Reality: There is a Successful treatment protocol supported by peer-reviewed scientific research.

The gold-standard training protocol to help dogs overcome their separation anxiety is a process called “systematic desensitization.” This process involves beginning with a period of alone time that is not stressful for your dog, which may be very small, and then gradually and systematically increasing that exposure as they start to learn alone time is safe. Over time, this process helps your dog to be comfortable for longer stretches and be alone without distress.

It’s an efficient and effective way to help your dog and get your life back.

When we began our work together, Nala would begin to panic several minutes after her person left. In her case, this involved pacing and vocalizing.

In a recent reassessment session together, Nala napped, looked out the window for a while at the cats, and resumed napping while her person drove away and ran errands for three hours.

Myth: Food toys, a stronger crate, or letting her cry it out will help.

Reality: Your dog isn’t bored or naughty. She’s panicking that she’s alone. And many dogs with separation anxiety also have anxiety about being in a crate.

Don’t waste your money on a military-strength crate. There’s a reason your dog is breaking out: She’s panicking and trying to get to you. A stronger crate doesn’t change the way she feels and she can break teeth and nails trying to escape. That’s terribly painful for her and can be some very expensive vet bills.

Other common suggestions that won’t help include sneaking out the door, distracting your dog with food toys, or letting them “cry it out.” There is a tried and tested training protocol that can treat separation anxiety, which involves working with a trainer who specializes in this issue to systematically teach your dog that being home alone is safe. Often, this training is best accomplished when supported by anti-anxiety medication (for the dog, that is).

Remember what I used to come home to, above? Now we come home to this.

Note that the fact we have a second dog, Daisy, did nothing to change Petey’s panicked feelings about our going out.

What helped was teaching him that alone-time is safe by using a training plan of systematic desensitization.

As a Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer, I can help.

Oh boy, do I ever understand how separation anxiety can affect a household. Frustration, expense, and the feeling of “this is not what we signed up for,” most certainly.

But there is hope, and I can help. Get started by booking a free online consultation, below.