7 things to know about dogs with Very Big Feelings
Dogs who run and hide or growl, snarl, and lunge at people and other dogs have Very Big Feelings about their world.
They’re not trying to give you a hard time. They’re having a hard time.
Dogs can have Very Big Feelings for many reasons.
It’s possible they didn’t learn that the world is safe when puppies, which is one reason we work so hard on “socialization,” which is way more than playing with people and puppies. It’s car rides, vet visits, brushing, nail trims, meeting people in uniforms, watching trucks go by, meeting children and elders who move differently than the people they’re used to, and much more. And all of this should happen in the pup’s first 16 weeks of age.
Dogs bred for traits such as hunting and herding can be more prone to anxiety and Very Big Feelings in an everyday household environment where their needs behavioral may be thwarted.
Research suggests that dogs who are bred from or raised by fearful mother dogs are prone to Very Big Feelings.
An early, frightening experience or repeated exposure to scary things (such as being restrained at vet visits) can cause a dog to have Very Big Feelings in certain situations.
1. A dog who runs and hides is afraid.
Dogs acquire fear very easily — it's actually a survival skill to be fearful of new things, especially things listed above they didn’t experience as pups. Our dogs then use a variety of communication tools to express that fear. Sometimes they shrink away and try to flee, and other times go on the offensive to attempt to make the scary thing go away.
Check out my 39-minute on-demand webinar, where you’ll learn about the nature of reactive behavior, and how you can start today to help your dog.
2. Aggressive behavior is also most likely fear.
Research shows that most of the behaviors we consider aggressive such as barking, lunging, snapping, and biting, are in fact a fearful dog attempting to, literally, chase away her fears.
3. We don’t get to decide what’s scary. Our dogs do.
It may not make sense to us for a dog to be afraid of leaves blowing in the wind or the friendly approach of another dog, but it sure made sense for our dog Daisy. Sudden, unpredictable movement was frightening for her, and we needed to do lots of socialization catch-up to teach her the world is safe.
4. Never, ever, deliberately expose your dog to his fears to help them “get over it.” It won’t help, and will make things worse.
Such “methods” are routinely used by un-credentialed “trainers” who appear on TV or online. They often promise miraculous, instant results for reactive behavior. Just like other reality shows, these programs and videos are scripted and heavily edited to show “amazing transformations.” The dog is actually shut down, frozen in fear.
We call this type of “training” flooding, and it’s similar to locking a person who’s afraid of spiders into a dark closet full of spiders. It doesn’t help their fears, may well make them catatonic, and is inhumane.
Effective, ethical behavior change takes time and incremental training plans to help dogs overcome their fears.
Prescription anti-anxiety medication combined with rewards-based behavior modification is today’s best practice when working with your fearful dog.
discussing medication with your vet should be your first step, not your last resort, when working with a dog who has Very Big Feelings.
5. Consult your vet about anti-anxiety medication.
There are no studies that show that herbal remedies, CBD, hemp, Thundershirts, pheromone sprays, or nonprescription preparations effectively help a dog with Very Big Feelings learn to cope with what's frightening her.
Many people find these products help but the stories are anecdotal rather than driven by research. Some clients spend a great deal of time and money trying to find a “natural” cure to change a dog’s fearful responses.
I understand wanting to try natural remedies. We tried them all with Daisy and lost precious time and support in helping her learn to cope with her fears. Once on anti-anxiety medication, she was able to attend to the counter-conditioning work we did.
In my experience, it's actually a kindness for your vet to prescribe anti-anxiety medications. When your dog is in a state of panic, training to help her learn to cope with her fears cannot effectively happen.
The American College of Veterinary Behaviorists (veterinarians who have additional training in behavioral issues) recommends positive reinforcement training coupled with, if needed, psychoactive medication:
“The American College of Veterinary Behaviorists (ACVB) advocates for teaching animals through the reinforcement of desired behaviors and the removal of reinforcement for undesired behaviors. The ACVB also encourages modification of the environment, and, if needed, the use of psychoactive medication and other products to create a learning environment where training methods based on respect of the animal’s welfare can be most effective.”
6. Helping your dog feel safe is the priority.
Nothing will help your dog with Very Big Feelings until she feels safe. That feeling of safety will likely be a combination of vet-prescribed medication, understanding what worries your dog, and protecting your dog from her fears until you can get started working with a trainer who can help your dog create new, positive associations with things that frighten her.
That might mean avoiding walks or a certain route on trash day, for instance, when those noisy monsters are on the prowl in the neighborhood.
7. There is hope, and a credentialed, rewards-based trainer can help.
Find out credentials to look for in a trainer, and questions to ask, in my free download, How to Choose a Dog Trainer. And check out the position paper on humane training by the American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior (another professional society for vets who have additional training in behavioral issues), which notes:
“Animals with challenging behavior disorders such as aggression should be treated with effective, compassionate, and humane methods of training, rather than with ‘a heavy hand’. There are no exceptions to this standard. If a trainer is having difficulty modifying a particular behavior, they should consult with another reward-based trainer, or refer to a veterinarian, board-certified veterinary behaviorist, or certified applied animal behaviorist.”